In The Dark
by KinseySix
Summary: There's only one thing Spinner can see in the dark. Warning: Contains major spoilers for episodes not shown in the US yet.
1. In The Dark

A/N: WARNING: SPOILERS. This story contains huge spoilers from Eye of The Tiger and Moonlight Desires, neither of which have aired in the United States. To those who have seen the episodes, and to those who download the episodes, like myself, feel free to read ahead.

Spinner knows that he probably shouldn't be smoking, but it's just a habit he's picked up from Jay. Besides, it's their ritual; they sit on the hood of Jay's car in Spinner's driveway, Jay takes out the pack. Spinner takes one and puts it between his lips, then Jay reaches over to light it, then lights one for himself. Every day, from whatever time Jay shows up until whatever time Jay feels like leaving. They sit there, just the two of them, chain-smoking on the car.

"I start summer school tomorrow," Spinner says suddenly. Jay nods and takes a drag off the cigarette.

"I know. You nervous?" he says. Spinner shrugs.

"Not really. I already know everyone there," he says. Jay snorts.

"Yeah, and they all hate your guts," he says. Spinner tips his head back, exhaling a breath of smoke. He glances over at Jay, who he can barely see through the darkening sky.

"It's getting late," Jay says, moving to stand up. Spinner nudges him with his elbow.

"Wait a second. I want to talk to you," he says. Jay leans back on his elbows.

"What?" he says. Spinner pauses and crushes the cigarette under his shoe.

"This whole arrangement. Of what we have now. I don't think it's going to work anymore," he says. Jay raises an eyebrow. Spinner can't see it, but he knows that Jay does it.

"Why not?" Jay asks.

"Summer school is my last shot. I can't screw it up. And I don't think I can deal with any distractions right now," Spinner replies. In the very faint light, he sees Jay nod gently.

"Oh," is all he manages. Spinner plays with the zipper of his sweatshirt. He hears the tone of voice Jay uses, and he doesn't like it.

"It's not anything personal, Jay," he says.

"Of course not," Jay says with a shrug. "I mean, we weren't even friends, right? Friend substitutes?"

"Jay," Spinner says. "You weren't just a substitute for everyone else, you know."

Jay shrugs.

"Okay. But you can have them back now. And I don't fit in with their, and frankly, I know your old friends, Spinster. I don't _want_ to fit in with them," he says. Spinner nods. They sit there in silence for a few minutes before Spinner stands up.

"I should go inside. Have to get up early and all that," he says, almost apologetically.

"See you around, then," Jay says, and Spinner nods again even though he thinks he _won't_ see him around again.

"Yeah. See you," he echoes. He stands directly in front of Jay, waiting. After a minute, Jay reaches up and grabs the front of Spinner's sweatshirt, just like Spinner expects him to, and pulls Spinner forward. They're both used to the dark, so their lips fit together naturally even though neither can see. Spinner leans into it and lets Jay's tongue slip between his lips, even though he knows he shouldn't. After a minute, Jay pulls away and releases Spinner's sweatshirt.

"Good luck tomorrow," he says, looking away.

"Thanks," Spinner says. He backs up a few steps, then heads up the front steps. He closes the door behind himself and goes up to his room, where he lies down on his bed. He hears the Civic start up and pull out of the driveway, and he looks out the window. The car is barely visible in the dark, and after a few seconds Spinner can't see it anymore, even though it's still parked. There's really only one thing he can find in the dark anyways.


	2. Kiss Me Like You Want Me

A/N: Once again, SPOILERS. I do not recommend reading this story if you live in the US or have not seen the very latest episodes. This chapter also includes slash, language, and very heavily implied sexual scenes between two males. If this isn't your cup of vodka… I mean, tea…. then don't read it.

Spinner stands next to the Civic until Jay rolls down the window, and then he leans his elbows on the door.

"What are you doing here?" he asks. Jay shrugs and lights a cigarette.

"Habit, I guess. You?" he says.

"It's my driveway," Spinner points out.

"And last time I checked, you don't sleep in your driveway," Jay says. Spinner waits some more, and Jay finally reaches over an opens the door. Spinner climbs in and shuts the door.

"Why are you here?" he asks again.

"What else do you expect me to do, Spinster?" Jay demands, his voice half angry and half desperate. "I've spent every night with you since we go expelled, and now I've got nothing to do and no where to go. Is that what you want to hear?"

"No," Spinner says quietly. Jay reaches out and starts playing with all the buttons the car has. Heat on, heat off, air conditioning, stereo playing barely a second of music before it's off again, back to heat.

"I don't like this, Spinster," he says. Spinner pretends he doesn't notice the use of the nickname, because he's not sure he's supposed to have noticed.

"It's the only way I can go back to school, Jay. I don't have time for just hanging out like before, and I don't have time to be whatever you want me to be," he says, and he stops, holding his breath. Neither of them has ever hinted that they'd want a real relationship, and neither has made it seem as though that's what it is.

Jay doesn't say anything about it, just stares at the dashboard. After another minute he clears his throat and repeats it.

"I don't like this."

Spinner has no idea what to do. There's nothing he can do, except give in. That's all he can give Jay this time. No friendship, no joking or smiles or affection. All he can give him is _that_, and he can't just try not to.

"Come inside," he says.

"Don't do that, Spin," Jay says, shaking his head. Spinner yanks the keys out of the ignition with shaking hands and throws them onto the car floor. He closes his eyes and touches Jay's face, his fingers fumbling in the dark. He leans forward and kisses him. Jay doesn't respond, so he pulls back.

"Come on, Jay. Stop trying to guilt trip me like everyone else and just come inside. My parents are out, and Kendra's with her friends downstairs. Let's just… just have one last go, for old time's sake," he says. It's the most unromantic way he can say it, but Jay's never been too romantic anyway. Jay swallows thickly.

"For old time's sake," he echoes. Spinner grabs him again, but the gearshift gets in the way after a few minutes. He pulls Jay towards the backseat of the Civic, but Jay shakes his head.

"If this is the last time you'll let me, I'm not fucking you in a car," he says.

"It was never about letting you, Jay," Spinner says, but Jay just repeats the head shake.

"Don't try to make this mean something, Spin," he says. Pointed avoidance of the nickname. Still, they both get out of the car and head for the house. Kendra is watching a movie with her friends in the living room.

"Spinner?" she says. Jay keeps walking directly past the living room and goes straight upstairs.

"Don't come upstairs," Spinner tosses over his shoulder, and he follows Jay to his bedroom. Shut the door, lock, lay down. Spinner pushes Jay's sweatshirt off his shoulders and onto the floor, yanks his t-shirt off, and attacks his neck with his lips. Just the way they always do it. Jay forces him back up so that their foreheads touch.

"Spinster. Just this once, I want you to kiss me like you mean it," he says, his breathing heavy. "Kiss me like you want me."

Spinner meets his eyes, not wanting to ruin everything by saying something stupid. And he kisses Jay as hard as he can, trying to show him just how much he means it.


	3. Jaysexual

A/N: As always, this is slash and spoilerific. For those who live in the US and haven't seen these episodes, yet read this anyways, Spinner and Jay do NOT have a relationship on the show. Not yet at least. This is just the same imagined relationship as the ones I had between Spinner and Marco in Cake and Bad Habit, and between Ellie and Paige in Pretty Girl (which, by the way, I won't be writing any more to. I hate it with a burning fiery passion). I made up all the Spinner/Jay stuff. The only bits that are true are the things about them getting expelled and Spinner going back for summer school.

"You ever think how weird it should have been?" Spinner asks. He leans back on the hood of Jay's car and glances over.

"How weird what should have been?" Jay asks.

"Figuring it all out. The whole gay-straight-bi thing. The sex," Spinner says."Figuring it all out was never the problem. What's that thing you mentioned earlier? The scientific thing, about not seeing stuff happen, but knowing it happened?" Jay asks.

"Indirect evidence," Spinner says. Jays nods.

"That. We didn't need to sit down and say 'Okay, I looks as though I like guys. What a situation'," he says. He kicks the asphalt, then takes another drag off the cigarette in his hand.

"I don't, though," Spinner replies. He feels Jay look sideways at him.

"Don't what?" he asks.

"I don't like guys. I like you. There's a difference," Spinner says. Jay turns to him, squinting at him like he's just made up another language.

"What, you're Jaysexual?" he says. Spinner shrugs.

"You're the only guy I've ever wanted. Other than you, there's never been anyone else. No other dude, at least. I'm straight, but you're the exception," he says.

"I'm honored," Jay says without feeling, crushing the cigarette under the sole of his shoe. They both sit back on the hood of the car, silent.

"I went through a Sean phase for a while," Jay says suddenly. Spinner glances at him.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"You know what I mean."

"Sean Cameron?"

A brief nod, barely visible in the dark, following by a short pause.

"Did you two ever do it?" Spinner asks finally. Jay snorts.

"No. I got him drunk once and tried to kiss him," he says.

"What happened" Spinner asks. Jay shrugs. It's all he offers, and Spinner knows not to push the subject. He knows not to, but he has to ask.

"So you miss him?"

Jay shrugs again and reaches over to pull the pack of cigarettes out of Spinner's back pocket. He lights up, then stares at the ground contemplatively.

"I miss a lot of things. Sure, I miss him, he was my best friend. I miss Alex. Fuck, I miss _school_ sometimes," he says. He finally looks back at Spinner. "I miss you."

"I'm right h" Spinner starts, but Jay laughs and shakes his head.

"No, you're not, so don't say it. Don't say you're right here. You haven't _been_ here, not since you told me you didn't want me anymore. You're just pity-fucking, and it's really starting to piss me off," he says.

"I'm not pity-fucking, Jay," Spinner says angrily. "You've been my only friend for two months, and you were the only one who didn't hate me after what happened with Jimmy!"

"Because I was involved! I couldn't hate you for it unless I hated myself for it!" Jay burst out. Spinner stares at the ground for a few minutes, quiet. He doesn't want to fight with Jay, especially not about this.

"I know you think I'm abandoning you, and that I'll just go back to all my old friends. But I won't. I never meant to do that. I care about you, you know? You were all I had," he says. Jay doesn't respond, and Spinner can tell he's trying not to stay mad.

"Fine," Jay says stonily. Spinner moves so that they're chest to chest, and he tangles his fingers in Jay's hair, pulling him forward and kissing him hard on the lips. Jay straightens up to pull Spinner in closer, and he kisses him so hard it almost hurts. Spinner takes Jay's lower lip between his teeth, something he'd never have known people do during kissing if not for Jay.

"I love you," Jay whispers. The words are out for one second before he yanks back, stunned. Spinner stares back. There have been many times when he's been unsure of what to say with Jay, but this definitely tops everything else that has ever happened in the entire history of the universe. He has absolutely no idea what to say in response, and his mind is completely, buzzingly blank. He _has_ to say it back, there's nothing else he _can_ say in that situation.

"I lo"

"I mean… I didn't mean it. I was just… the kissing. That's it. It was just the kissing, and I didn't mean it, and I-I have to go now," Jay says. His composure, along with his sanity, has completely disappeared. He yanks open the door to his car and climbs in, twisting the key in the ignition. Spinner gets off the hood and tries to meet Jay's eyes through the windshield. Jay is staring at the steering wheel, looking shell-shocked, and it amazes Spinner that he doesn't hit anything as he peels out of the driveway.


	4. You Hurt Me, I Hurt You

A/N: I'm upping the rating to R, because there's a lot of sexual content and swearing in this chapter. This is slash, so don't forget that. Also, there is some content in this chapter that people might find disturbing. There isn't any actual sex, but there's non-consensual content in here. As always, spoilers as well.

Spinner wonders briefly if he should sit down at the desk chair, on the bed. If he's allowed to smoke, what he should say. Jay refuses to look at him, just lays down on the bed and lights up.

"Don't stand there like a fucking statue, Spin. You're making me nervous," he says. Spinner hesitates, then sits down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry about last night. I should've said something," he says. Jay quirks an eyebrow.

"Like what? 'Are you high, Jay? It was just fucking'?" he says. Spinner rubs the back of his neck and stares at the lamp on Jay's bedside table.

"I could've said it back," he says. There's no reply. He looks back at Jay, who's looking at him strangely, like it hurts his eyes.

"Would you have meant it?" he asks.

"Would you have cared?" Spinner shoots back. Jay keeps looking at him that way, then smirks and glances over at the clock.

"I don't think so," he says.

"If I'd said it, what would you have done?" Spinner asks. Jay shrugs.

"I'd have fucked you," he says. Spinner swallows.

"My parents were home," he says.

"So I'd have fucked you in the car. Big friggin' deal. Nothing we haven't done before," Jay says. Another shrug, then a drag off the cigarette, "Or maybe I'd have let you fuck me. _That's_ something we haven't done before."

"Shut up," Spinner says, his face burning.

"It's true, come on, Spin. You never had the balls to do it, to turning a fucking phrase. Your old friends know that you're a bottom? That you're my bitch?" Jay says as he drops the cigarette into a glass of water on the bedside table.

"I told you to shut the hell up. Knock it off," Spinner says. Jay grabs the collar of Spinner's shirt and forces him down onto the bed.

"Come on, _Spinster_. Tell me," he says. He moves a leg over so that he's straddling Spinner's hips. "Has it come up in conversation recently that not _once_ have I let you do me?"

"Stop it," Spinner says. Jay presses his wrists into the mattress above his head and grinds his hips down. Spinner squeezes his eyes shut. He _cannot_ be getting hard at that.

"Besides us two, who knows that you're the fucking girl here? Who've you told? The queer? The psycho? The one who got us kicked out of school?" Jay continues to hold down Spinner's wrists with one hand, unbuttoning his shirt with the other.

"Get off me," Spinner says. He tries to shove Jay off him, but the pressure on his wrists increases.

"No need to fight. I think we both know I handle you pretty well," Jay says.

"Jay, I said get off me. Stop it," Spinner says, trying to yank away again. Jay grabs Spinner's jaw and forces his head to the side, brushing his lips against Spinner's ear.

"Is this how you like me, _Spinster_?" he asks. The nickname sounds dirty like this. Obscene. "Is this how you want me to treat you? You get pissed when I say I love you, you must want me to treat you like a piece of ass, right?"

"Stop it, Jay. You don't act like this," Spinner says. Jay licks the edge of Spinner's jaw.

"But it's how you want me to act," he says.

"No, it's not," Spinner says. Jay moves a hand down Spinner's chest, his nails digging in, leaving long red tracks. Spinner gasps slightly under his touch, half in pain, half in shock. Jay repeats the movement over the previous marks.

"These are the rules, Spinster. You hurt me, I hurt you," he says. He yanks open the zipper and button on Spinner's jeans and pushes them down over his hips. He strokes the soft, pale skin on Spinner's hipbones, then presses him down into the mattress. Hard.

"Stop it, Jay. Please," Spinner says hoarsely.

"I thought you wanted me," Jay says, almost mockingly. Spinner shakes his head.

"No. Not like this. Not when you're hurting me," he says. Jay stills. His hand on Spinner's hip, fingers squeezing his wrists, hips grinding against his own. The just stays there, not moving, for a few moments. Finally, he rolls off and stands up. He glances back at Spinner, lying on the bed with his hair disheveled, and shirt open, and he's hard, and Jay looks at him, disgusted, though it's not apparent whether it's with Spinner or with himself. Either way, he grabs Spinner's hand and pulls him to his feet. He pulls up Spinner's jeans and yanks up the zipper.

"Get your clothes on, you fucking whore. And get out of my house," he says. He heads to the bathroom, and Spinner stares after him, dirty, and used, and pathetic.


End file.
